Things Puberty Teaches You And Things It Really Doesn’t

This is a guest post by Alaric Moras or commonly known by his pen name, The Observant Lefty.Now I asked him to write a bio for himself,and well the result was hilariously awesome!Here it goes


“Alaric Moras is a 17 year old writer who has interned at Youth Incorporated Magazine and The Times of India. He is the owner of the blog:http://observantlefty.wordpress.com/ and is presently completing his Second Year of Junior College, (SYJC- ARTS) in Saint Xavier’s College, Mumbai. He is most known for his writing, and lack of any other talents thereof. When he isn’t glued to his computer screen, he spends his time reading and studying, (the last activity performed three days or fewer before upcoming examinations).

Alaric chooses to speak in a dialect of his own creation, consisting of Hindi, English and Konkani melded together, with the suffix, ‘ness’ added to most verbs. He also writes for The Xavier’s College Xpress. His highest aspiration is to an editor at a world renowned magazine. He presently resides in Santacruz, Mumbai, India.”
You can find his blog here . Also,here’s his Twitter handle @alaricmoras (https://twitter.com/alaricmoras)

I was pleasantly surprised when I was asked to write for The Standing Coin’s one year anniversary and that SidG would think of me as one of the writers he knew who could perform this task in the first place. The Standing Coin has won numerous blogger awards, been mentioned in countless magazines and newspapers and is probably one of the most viewed blogs in Mumbai today. To me, it has become a sort of entity in itself, even managing to capture my rabbit like attention span and wielding an enormous following. Therefore, having my thoughts set against the shadow of such a giant is a hard task, but I will try my best.

Since I was told that I could write about anything that suited me, I choose to write about things that I feel I’ve learnt over the course of my teenage life. Here are some of the insights I’ve gained that I want to share with you all.

THINGS PUBERTY TEACH YOU:-

1.) Kissing does not make babies. It can, however, lead to chapped and sore lips and a variety of blemishes across your face. None of which I’ve experienced. Forever Alone is fun.

2.) Saying “yo” every three seconds will get you laughed at. Inventing your own words and using them freely however, doesn’t. “Me-ness” and being yourself is always fully and completely appreciated. Plus, it’s fun to be crazy.

3.)Being treated like a child by your parents never gets old. Relish the moment and know that for those two people, whatever you do will never make them hate you. Unless, ofcourse, you don’t clean your room and wash behind your ears.

4.) Relationships are like glass. When you break them, they… Well, they break. And someone will get hurt. Chocolate and peanut butter, however aren’t glass-like at all. Indulge and let yourself go. And most importantly, they will always love you in return.

5.) Touching members of the opposite sex is permitted. Not a lot. In moderation, of course. Like alcohol. Try keeping it at once or twice every 30 minutes or so. Safe zones are the non smooth areas. Just saying.
6.) Fitting in with the crowd makes you fade into the background. Always try and be yourself. Unless you like tasting human flesh. Then, try and be something a bit more normal.

7.) It’s called an ’embarrassing itch’ for a reason. But that’s where powder comes in. Jai ho, Johnson’s Baby Powder! No, seriously. Don’t leave without it.
8.) Don’t idealize things, relationships and people. Take everything as it comes and realize that life doesn’t always have to be structured and defined. Everything can just BE.

THINGS YOU THINK PUBERTY TEACHES YOU BUT REALLY DOESN’T:-

1.) Tying your shoe laces. I kid you not. When you’re twelve, this seems like some great new insight that turning thirteen will automatically impart to you. You learn it like everything else.

2.) Resisting bubble wrap. Face it, people: You are, and you always will be addicted to the goodness of bursting that little air pocket.

3.) How to say “no” when aunties bring out the sweets. When faced with gulab jamuns, rasgullas and jalebis, do not EVER think maturity will set in. In the face of oily loveliness, all of us are reduced to children.

4.) How to eat chips decently. Lays, Pringles, banana chips, whatever they maybe, we will always be animals when we consume them.

5.) How to wink cheekily without looking like a rapist. You thing growing a bit taller and having fuzz on your upper lip gives you swag? Sorry to burst your bubble; it really doesn’t. You will still look like you are a wild sex offender if you wink randomly at the ladies. Unless you are George Clooney.

6.) Grow the parts of yourself you want to and in the right order. No matter how hard you stare in the mirror, screw up your face and try to grow the parts of you that you want to grow in the right order, it will not happen. Trust me. I speak through lots of experience.

7.) Get rid of the imaginary talking voices. You kids out there who’ve watched Foster’s Home and lived with Imaginary Friends, don’t worry. They’ll never leave you, mainly because they fade into a host of annoying and whiny annoying voices in the back of your mind. And they have names. Shut UP, Charlie, I’m trying to concentrate here, God!

8.) Be the star of everything, always. No matter how cliched this sounds, you will always be popular among your own friends and you never need to work to be a people pleaser. You’re a great person, just the crazy, insane way you are.

Grinningly yous,

The Observant Lefty.

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