I’ll Be There For You, ‘Coz You’re There For Me Too

I'll Be There For You, 'Coz You're There For Me Too
Remember that one childhood friend who knows you inside out? Yes, the one whom you just thought of when you read that sentence. The one whom you will share this blog post with, the one whom you’ll call after reading this. So I guess by now you have a fairly decent idea about who I am talking about. All of us have that one person, that one friend, that one best friend who is simply your life line. Distance, time, space, place, location, nothing matters with them. You can rely on them whenever you want to, regardless of what it has been. You must be wondering why I am rambling and you are right in wondering so. Let me tell you why.

I'll Be There For You, 'Coz You're There For Me Too
We seek closeness.That’s an universal fact.No one can deny that.It’s simply who we are and what we need.Be whatever,or whoever you may attempt to be,that familiarity,that proximity,that bond,everyone wants that. This coupled with the fact that nothing is more pleasing than finding someone who functions exactly like you. Same thoughts, same outlook in life, same quirks, same likes, same dislikes, same everything. No, don’t mistake it for a relationship between lovebirds. It is something much more intense, deep, lasting and permanent. You can call her at 3 in the night and rant about your troubles. She can wake you up and complain about how her parents are irritating her. Together you may sing songs at the top of your voice on a roof at midnight. The list is endless, and always shall be. But the best part is, there is never a shred of awkwardness between the two of you. You may be boiling Pepsi in a kettle(for the record, BAD IDEA) and simply laugh when it blows up. You maybe cracking sad jokes at the last bench of class. It can even be discussing certain anatomical dimensions for an hour over the phone at seven in the morning on a Sunday right after she wakes you up because she just got done with her memorial submission and was bored. It could be you calling her up after doing something crazy, right when she’s about to sleep, and keep her up, because you can.
Ok so my rambling still doesn’t make sense but the point I have to make is that the feelings you have for that person are simply beyond words. If asked to, I doubt anyone can put down those feelings in a sentence of finite words. The feeling is inexpressible. It’s just there and something which you cherish forever. So cheers to everyone of us, and to all of our best friends, our chuddy buddies, our confidants, our lives, our everything. “Simple hai. Kisi ke saath waqt bitane se sab theek ho jaata hai”.

Go ahead. Share this with your best friend. Try expressing what you never have, it’s worth a shot.

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Top 5 Ways To Piss Off Grammar Nazis

Hey people this is the fourth post of a new weekly series called “Saturday Top 5”. I guess the title is self explanatory and anyway, it shall be on a pilot basis. Here’s the last post of the series(LINK).Please leave your feedback about the idea and suggestions as well for the next post in the series
Each one of us has that friend who supposedly has impeccable grammatical skills and is colloquially known as the “Grammar Nazi” of your group. Now these ticks have always acted like savants and bugged you endlessly. I’m sure each one of you, on at least more than one occasion, has been interrupted mid-sentence because of a stupid grammar rule. OR you definitely have been thrown off topic when a serious chat message is responded to with a chiding for a missing comma.
Remember those Value Education lessons where we were taught to give back to society in the same terms it has given it to us. Well I say we take it one step forward and stick it back to these fanatics. We bring to you the top 5 ways to make a Grammar Nazi cringe and basically make their life living hell.
1. The “Their, There and They’re” rule

Okay so this one is an instant killer. Simply interchange these three similar sounding words and Grammar Nazis become as angry as a guy whose Xbox was just wrecked or as pissed as a girl when you ask her if Blair from Gossip Girl is a dude. For a better effect, use all 3 of them in a sentence, but just in the wrong places
Example- “There from Uttar Pradesh and they’re hometown is also their”
2. Later and Latter

I personally have used this one unwittingly and it works like a charm. Skip a “t” and it will hit a Grammar Nazi like scalding tea(I AM NOT GOING TO APOLOGISE FOR THIS SAD JOKE).  My draft reader probably has a template saved on her phone which reads “GUPTA! It’s latter and NOT later”. But this works only in isolation and overdoing this may not cause as much damage as intended. Although coupling this with the other methods can prove to be a game changer.
3.It’s its but its not it’s

Now this is a tricky one. It’s denotes it is or it has and maybe something else as well while its denotes possession. This sentence passed the grammar check of Microsoft Word so if any fanatic is reading this and losing their brains, good for me but please sue Bill Gates. To everyone else, imagine the trouble an average person would experience while reading the first sentence. Now make it grammatically null and you’ll have the remote control to a Grammar Nazi’s mental anguish. Use them in place of each other and you’ve struck gold!
4.Comma laga ke rakhna

Now this is a bit odd for the simple fact that it often backfires because a missing comma often results in a foot-in-mouth like situation or as I like to call it, an “Ass-Aram” moment. And yes I found this funny. Anyway, the absence of a comma can simply wreck havoc on a Grammar Nazi as he or she grabs their hair in frustration and search for some rat poison. Do the world a favour and send them a bottle beforehand.

5.tYpIn lyk dis

Unfortunately, a wide majority of today’s teenage society finds it kewl 2 tYp lyk dis cozzz itz kINdA hiP *Insert wink smiley, tongue out smiley, laugh smiley, smile smiley, big smile smiley and of course a LOL and a ROTFL*
This pisses off almost everyone, ranging from sane people to even people like Rahul Gandhi, whom I cannot refer to as insane as I fear a defamation case by the Agra mental asylum. Anyway, it does tick off Grammar savants as well because of the simple fact that this is not even proper language rather than a sentence which follows a proper grammatical structure.
So folks, this is all I have this week. To all Grammar Nazis, I love you guys and no offense meant*

*Hey all non-grammar Nazis, notice how I used offense in place of offence.That’s the secret sixth tip **DO EVIL LAUGH

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The Gross Injustice In The Aarushi Talwar Case

The Gross Injustice In The Aarushi Talwar Case
As I sit typing this article, I am, to be frank, disturbed. I just finished reading an article by one of Aarushi’s relatives about the entire ordeal. I was, to articulate the least passive emotion I felt, stunned. I often put situations in perspective and by the timeline of the murder; I would have been 13 at the time of her death, just a year younger to her. The way our nation(and by this I mean everyone and anyone ranging from our media to our police to our courts) have vilified her innocence, I shudder and in a disgusted manner, am grateful that she is dead because these baseless allegations would sure have reduced her to a lifeless cocoon.

A 14 year old girl’s life was splattered on to the television screen as everything about her was questioned. Her character, her friends, everything. The thought itself is horrifying. May such travesties never befall your close ones, but for moments just imagine it to be one of your sisters or your mother or any female friend in Aarushi’s place. Now experience the pain. Chauvinistic males discussing how a ruptured hymen described sexual activity before the murder( a highly pertinent point to be noted is that the original forensic report filed a few days after the murder read that the vaginal area was “NAD”(sic) yet a report filled latter suddenly manifested anomalies), high-headed conservatives deeming pyjama bottoms and cell phones to be sexually provocative, disgusting cheap reporters who are not fit to report even a stupid traffic jam abashedly claiming her murder to be caused by a sexual affair. There have been purists claiming she sent messages to her boyfriend which possibly prove her supposed promiscuous behaviour and justify her murder as an “honour killing”. To all of you cringing in disgust, this is what the Talwar’s are going through.

The nauseating lack of prudence by the media at reporting this case, coupled with their sensationalised depiction of each and every step in the judicial and investigative process has led to a common phenomenon which is known as “trial by medial”. Virtually, the nation has sentenced the Talwar’s already for murdering their only daughter and their servant Hemraj because of two reasons: the knowledge the two possessed about Dr.Rajesh Talwar’s affair and the sexual activities of the two.

Here’s the shocking truth. The previous sentence, in no part has been proven. There has been no evidence, not even circumstantial evidence or a hint or a clue which supports the hypothesis that Dr.Rajesh Talwar was having an extra-marital affair. The entire theory was based on a sole statement by Krishna, his assistant at his clinic and Hemraj’s friend. Ironically, Krishna was originally one of the named accused and was also arrested but later let off on bail. The police recovered from his room, a bloodied kukri (Nepali weapon) and a bloodied pillow. Yet, no action was taken after his release. As of now, he is untraceable and reportedly in Nepal. Moving on, the clashing evidence with regard to Aarushi’s private parts and the long decay and decomposition of Hemraj’s body before being found points at one thing- the theory maybe correct, but as of now, nothing proves it. Lastly, the Talwar’s are merely named suspects, but no evidence, no court of law; no investigation has backed this suggestion by proof. Wild expeditions by the media has distorted reality and painted a world which has already sentenced certain people based on nothing but theories which drive TRPs to their channel.

I do not claim to be an expert at anything and pronounce judgements. The criminal could have been anyone, maybe the Talwar’s themselves. But maybe not, and that’s what makes all the difference. The entire case has exposed India. A archaic police with nearly dysfunctional logistics, a flawed Judiciary with improper communication, a detrimental and disgusting media which has clearly stepped beyond its mandate and taken advantage of a tragic moment for their own personal good. Equally are to be blamed are us. We, as a populace have matured but the monotony with which we are doing so, with a complete “today this tomorrow that” attitude, is astounding. Not one person has questioned the blatant violation of ethics and freedom by today’s media. Vehemently the media has argued for its right to free speech. But does free speech include wild incitement? Does it include the right to pronounce people guilty? Does it give them the right to discuss a girl’s private life, even though she’s dead? We have been sucked in by the mantra today’s media follows- “Flash something. Flash it big. Flash it many times. That’s the truth. Everything else is false.” I confess I too am a late entrant with regard to certain facts about the situation and I have no excuses to offer. But today, we have failed. As people, as citizens, as humans and definitely as a country.

It has been 5 years since the horrific double murder. Scams, development, news, results, weddings, deaths, all have come and gone. But we await justice. Justice for Aarushi, whose life was snatched away. A life that may have been anything. She may have been the next Prime Minister, a dentist or a common thief, anything. But she won’t. For most of us, life shall move on, and actually is moving on. But we carry on our shoulders, the burden of humanity, and as people, we owe it to truth and justice.

I leave you all with a small thought. God forbid such a happening, but in Aarushi’s place, it could have been you or your sister or daughter or anyone of your female relatives. Would your careless attitude still reign?

NOTES: Join this campaign for Justice for Aarushi Talwar (LINK)
Also read these articles for a greater understanding of the gross miscarriage of justice in this case

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Truly,Madly,Deeply by Faraaz Kazi -A Book Review

Truly,Madly,Deeply by Faraaz KaziTeenage romances are a very dicey topic in India. The parental pressure of upholding the supposed “family ki naak” and the combined guilt of parental as well as self-inflicted misery over petty issues makes them difficult to handle. But somehow, in an almost clichéd manner, love triumphs all as two people fall for each other. Mostly, they are silly infatuations or crushes which time erodes. But rarely do we come across a story where love blooms truly, madly and deeply.
 
TMD is Faraaz Kazi’s first novel and is 310 pages long. It deals with the story of Rahul, a quintessential high school boy, who is one of the best students at school and loved by all. He falls for Seema, his perfect match in all aspects albeit a year younger to him. The book deals with the young love of two kids as they pass through teenage. It highlights their troubles, their good times, their perils and their path.
 
In an extremely poetic manner, we see the entire story from the eyes of the super romantic Rahul who simply loves and loves more everyday. The high point of the book is ironically its fallacy as well. I’ll start with the pro. The book depicts teenagers in a near perfect way, covering abstract relationships like best friends, friends etc in a delicate and precise manner which is something beyond the scope of most adults.
 
On the other hand, the book, in an almost jovial manner, exaggerates the feelings of a teenager. Being one of them, I can safely vouch for the fact that unlike the protagonist, no teenaged guy can spout verses of poetry like a puppet for every situation while drawing deep metaphors from almost everything ranging from a hug to a fart.
Faraaz Kazi
Overall, the book is a good read and is a bit on the philosophical line which I found to be unnatural for a teen. Otherwise, it’s an easy to read, read on a cheesy little afternoon kind of book. So all you romantics, try this out, you’ll love it

 

Click here to buy from Amazon

Top 5 Ways To Ignore People On Whatsapp

Hey people I’ve decided to start a new weekly series called “Saturday Top 5”. I guess the title is self explanatory and anyway, it shall be on a pilot basis. Here’s the first post of the series.Please leave your feedback about the idea and suggestions as well for the next post in the series

Top 5 Ways To Ignore People On Whatsapp

Whiny Stalker MemeWith the advent of smart phones, the communications industry has taken a weird turn. As much as customers love free chat services, their annoyance is nearly the same. Just think about it. How many BBM status messages have sparked off controversies? How many times has the privacy invading “Last Seen At” feature lead to World War 3 like situations among friends, best friends, stalkers and stalkees alike? The option to ignore is nearly dead and it is in such desperate times, I sat down and devised a list of top 5 ways to ignore people on Whatsapp:

1. Shift to Viber or WeChat

Before you dismiss me as a sponsored reviewer, let me just add that these services are damn mediocre and as I typed this article on a Blackberry, please understand and sympathize when I say “GO BBM!”
That being said, these services are free and have added animated stickers/emoticons as well. Add the lack of “last seen at” feature, and we have a decent deal

2. Tell everyone you meet that your Whatsapp app is malfunctioning

Well you can come up with a tragic story how you had a controversial moment with your parents when Whatsapp showed that you were online at 3 AM while you slept at 11. Okay even if this didn’t happen, it’s a pretty good alibi to feed to stalkers or annoying friends. How am I sure that this will work? Well it will because among all their many irritating qualities, one respectable and ironically creepy trait they posses is that he/she will always remember everything about you. So you can easily pawn off your high level of ignoring them on your proverbial “Stupid phone” and end it nicely with an “I REALLY NEED TO GET AN IPHONE”

3. Stay online all the time

This is something I recommend for people with really amazing phones. The ones with those glossy 1.6576347537 GHZ processors and stuff. Just leave Whatsapp on forever and leave it at that. You’ll be online 24/7(even when you take that long dump after last night’s Chole Bhature).Sure you’ll lose battery faster than Sreesanth saying Yes to bowl a no ball for an ice-cream and yes, your internet bill will give your parents a small cardiac arrest, but on the plus side, you can freely ignore people without a single drop of sweat!

4. Be sad when confronted

Meme about capital lettersOkay this one really pans out for the sentiones. When someone gets angry over you ignoring them on Whatsapp(NOTE: Signs include capitalization of words and usage of the angry face smiley, not talking smiley and other 13 year old teen anger stuff), all you have to do is invent a problem and you’re golden. You can even pretend that you were crying or were nursing a friend’s heartbreak or any other nonsense. I know it sounds on the border of narcissism but it does work. Try being whiny as well. Nothing turns away clingy people better than whining. Well that is if we don’t include “Don’t shower for a week and giving them a hug after three hours of sweaty workout”
5. Karela Law them

Now let’s set a landmark moment in history. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the biggest thing to happen this millennia after the death of George Carlin (check him out if you haven’t. A true genius), the KARELA LAW. Well the law, in all its elegance is inspired from Barney’s Lemon Law and reads as

“Ignorance or feigning of the afore mentioned emotion on chat services with regard to messages or any communication attempts by a person with another person shall be deemed socially acceptable with the simple mention of the Karela Law. Any arguments, fights, break-ups or other violence* inducing activities shall not gain basis in Karela Law situations”

*violence includes mental, physical, spiritual and all other kind of things Hitler would do. Or Gandhi won’t. Take your pick

Why the name Karela Law you ask? Well it had to be named analogous to the Lemon Law so I decided on Karela. For heaven’s sake, it’s irritatingly bitter
Okay folks, got to run now, I need to update my Whatsapp status to “Writing a blog post” because the Apocalypse will hit the world if I don’t tell my contact list that I am writing a blog post and the world will collapse.

Tired.Just Tired

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Who am I?An Indian Teen’s Identity Crisis

NOTE:This was the article I wrote for the What’s My ID Contest for Youth Ki Awaaz. I won a Nokia Lumia 710 and an internship with them. Here’s the picture :

Nokia Lumia 710 Won By Siddharth Gupta for What's My ID Contest for Youth ki Awaaz

As a seventeen year old teen, I can confidently say I’m an Indian who is astonished by India daily. With the second highest population in the world, the only way of describing us is “we’re everywhere”. Some rejoice by this unique factorial, claiming it to be a bright prospect for the country’s future. But what I, and most of today’s youth sees, is a situation of identity crisis. A situation that doesn’t look good at all.

Today, every child, by the sole act of his birth, acquires multiple tags, which already define him before he or she can logically think. When a foreign dignitary visits India, the first lesson they learn is of our cultural integrity, but they never learn of our inhumane and excruciatingly complex divide. May it be on the geographical distribution of states, or of the language rolled off their tongues, we have a nasty little intuition to immediately separate each other out. It’s interesting to note that most of the geographical and language issues are simply banal. Consider this: at the time of our independence, we had 15 odd states which today stand at 28. Looking at certain separatist movements, we may see an increase in the number. But the point that stands out is that over time, fragmentation, re-merging of areas, division etc stops mattering because over the years, the only common link geographically between people has remained that of belonging to a common nation- India.

Moving on to the touchy issue, caste based discrimination. It’s not that we are not trying to move past it. With each passing generation, the emerging youth of India has slowly worked towards making it a figment of history. Unfortunately, our social stigmas and laws haven’t caught up. As a child when my mother taught me equality, I often thought “How can I say XYZ is equal to me when he gets a reservation in educational institutes, government jobs and many other such similar offerings while I don’t?”

Bringing in the gender divide, I slightly start feeling disgusted. For a nation which claims to believe and worship in a goddess, we are simple brutes. As a staunch advocate of equality among women, I simply find myself in dearth of a true identity, because associating myself with any of them highlighted here, causes a revulsion in me.

Identity. The word itself resonates a feeling of unity, of oneness and in true essence, describes the individual persona of each person. Sadly, as an Indian who is still in his growing years, I’ve discovered that I have multiple facades, multiple descriptions associated with me. Why, is a question I’m yet to answer, because the search goes on. In India, you never have a single identity. It’s always a concoction of many different ones. But whatever the potion may be and whoever may be the brewer, one thing is apparent and crystal-clear. Something is wrong, and we must change. I hope we change. Soon, Fast and Now

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Things Puberty Teaches You And Things It Really Doesn’t

This is a guest post by Alaric Moras or commonly known by his pen name, The Observant Lefty.Now I asked him to write a bio for himself,and well the result was hilariously awesome!Here it goes


“Alaric Moras is a 17 year old writer who has interned at Youth Incorporated Magazine and The Times of India. He is the owner of the blog:http://observantlefty.wordpress.com/ and is presently completing his Second Year of Junior College, (SYJC- ARTS) in Saint Xavier’s College, Mumbai. He is most known for his writing, and lack of any other talents thereof. When he isn’t glued to his computer screen, he spends his time reading and studying, (the last activity performed three days or fewer before upcoming examinations).

Alaric chooses to speak in a dialect of his own creation, consisting of Hindi, English and Konkani melded together, with the suffix, ‘ness’ added to most verbs. He also writes for The Xavier’s College Xpress. His highest aspiration is to an editor at a world renowned magazine. He presently resides in Santacruz, Mumbai, India.”
You can find his blog here . Also,here’s his Twitter handle @alaricmoras (https://twitter.com/alaricmoras)

I was pleasantly surprised when I was asked to write for The Standing Coin’s one year anniversary and that SidG would think of me as one of the writers he knew who could perform this task in the first place. The Standing Coin has won numerous blogger awards, been mentioned in countless magazines and newspapers and is probably one of the most viewed blogs in Mumbai today. To me, it has become a sort of entity in itself, even managing to capture my rabbit like attention span and wielding an enormous following. Therefore, having my thoughts set against the shadow of such a giant is a hard task, but I will try my best.

Since I was told that I could write about anything that suited me, I choose to write about things that I feel I’ve learnt over the course of my teenage life. Here are some of the insights I’ve gained that I want to share with you all.

THINGS PUBERTY TEACH YOU:-

1.) Kissing does not make babies. It can, however, lead to chapped and sore lips and a variety of blemishes across your face. None of which I’ve experienced. Forever Alone is fun.

2.) Saying “yo” every three seconds will get you laughed at. Inventing your own words and using them freely however, doesn’t. “Me-ness” and being yourself is always fully and completely appreciated. Plus, it’s fun to be crazy.

3.)Being treated like a child by your parents never gets old. Relish the moment and know that for those two people, whatever you do will never make them hate you. Unless, ofcourse, you don’t clean your room and wash behind your ears.

4.) Relationships are like glass. When you break them, they… Well, they break. And someone will get hurt. Chocolate and peanut butter, however aren’t glass-like at all. Indulge and let yourself go. And most importantly, they will always love you in return.

5.) Touching members of the opposite sex is permitted. Not a lot. In moderation, of course. Like alcohol. Try keeping it at once or twice every 30 minutes or so. Safe zones are the non smooth areas. Just saying.
6.) Fitting in with the crowd makes you fade into the background. Always try and be yourself. Unless you like tasting human flesh. Then, try and be something a bit more normal.

7.) It’s called an ’embarrassing itch’ for a reason. But that’s where powder comes in. Jai ho, Johnson’s Baby Powder! No, seriously. Don’t leave without it.
8.) Don’t idealize things, relationships and people. Take everything as it comes and realize that life doesn’t always have to be structured and defined. Everything can just BE.

THINGS YOU THINK PUBERTY TEACHES YOU BUT REALLY DOESN’T:-

1.) Tying your shoe laces. I kid you not. When you’re twelve, this seems like some great new insight that turning thirteen will automatically impart to you. You learn it like everything else.

2.) Resisting bubble wrap. Face it, people: You are, and you always will be addicted to the goodness of bursting that little air pocket.

3.) How to say “no” when aunties bring out the sweets. When faced with gulab jamuns, rasgullas and jalebis, do not EVER think maturity will set in. In the face of oily loveliness, all of us are reduced to children.

4.) How to eat chips decently. Lays, Pringles, banana chips, whatever they maybe, we will always be animals when we consume them.

5.) How to wink cheekily without looking like a rapist. You thing growing a bit taller and having fuzz on your upper lip gives you swag? Sorry to burst your bubble; it really doesn’t. You will still look like you are a wild sex offender if you wink randomly at the ladies. Unless you are George Clooney.

6.) Grow the parts of yourself you want to and in the right order. No matter how hard you stare in the mirror, screw up your face and try to grow the parts of you that you want to grow in the right order, it will not happen. Trust me. I speak through lots of experience.

7.) Get rid of the imaginary talking voices. You kids out there who’ve watched Foster’s Home and lived with Imaginary Friends, don’t worry. They’ll never leave you, mainly because they fade into a host of annoying and whiny annoying voices in the back of your mind. And they have names. Shut UP, Charlie, I’m trying to concentrate here, God!

8.) Be the star of everything, always. No matter how cliched this sounds, you will always be popular among your own friends and you never need to work to be a people pleaser. You’re a great person, just the crazy, insane way you are.

Grinningly yous,

The Observant Lefty.

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